Gay Myths / Stereotypes

I have to admit... before I really accepted the fact that I was gay (over 15 years ago), I had a completely false impression of what "being gay" meant. I thought that once you came out of the closet, you were immediately and permanantly thrust into a lifestyle that involved a lot of dancing, prancing, swishing, and lisping. I associated 'gayness' with people like Richard Simmons, Liberace, and Paul Lynde, and assumed you had to have some level of effeminate eccentricity to really be gay. And... I presumed that most gays lived in San Francisco. Those who didn't, likely lived submerged in a dark sub-culture that was filled with sexual predators and back alley encounters. They weren't my friends and neighbors, and certainly weren't integrated within 'normal society'. At least that's what I thought. Of course I couldn't have been more wrong.

I ultimately discovered that being gay is not a 'lifestyle'. There is no secret recipe for gayness, and there certainly isn't one image to which all gays aspire. The LGBT community is as diverse as society itself, and we comprise a wide range of beliefs and lifestyles. We represent every race, creed, religion, profession, age, and gender. We have personalities that range from the tragically dull to the wildly eccentric. Our kind includes the honest and the deceitful, the monogamous and the promiscuous, the passive and the militant, the urban and the suburban. We are your friends and neighbors - in all walks of life.

Our gayness does not define who we are as individuals. It does not dictate how we must act or what we must believe. In fact, our only common trait is simply that we are labeled by society according to our sexual identity. We are not traditional heterosexuals, and therefore we are not 'normal'. As a result, we are often subject to discrimination - sometimes even persecution - and we are not extended the same civil liberties as the rest of society.

So how can we go about affecting social change? How do we achieve social equality? First we must make it clear who we are and what we want. We are normal people who simply want to experience life as we were meant to - without fear of persecution or discrimination due to our sexual identity. We want the right to live and love with all the same freedoms enjoyed by our traditional heterosexual counterparts.

In this inaugural blog on PINK OUT LOUD, my hope is to raise awareness of the myths of being gay and the stereotypes surrounding the LGBT community. Ultimately, I would like to dive deeper into each one, but for now it's important to simply put them on the table.

Some of the key myths that come to mind include:

1. We choose to be gay
2. We have a 'gay lifestyle'
3. We recruit others to be gay
4. We are pedophiles
5. We are atheists and sinners

And some stereotypes:

1. Gay men love musical theater, the arts, and fashion... and hate sports
2. Lesbian women love cars, bikes, and power tools... and hate men
3. Neither gays nor lesbians can have lasting monogamous relationships
4. All cross-dressers are gay, and vice-versa

To be clear... I'm not suggesting that any of these myths are true. In fact, they are dangerous perceptions that lead to misplaced hatred and fear. Nor am I suggesting that these stereotypes don't exist within the LGBT community - because they do. In fact, some social circles embody these images with pride and dignity, allowing individuals the opportunity to embrace a gay identity that makes them feel accepted and valued, akin to fraternities and sororities. However, when applied with a broad brush to the entire LGBT community, these stereotypes inappropriately characterize what it means to be gay. For the record, I happen to love theater, arts, fashion, AND sports!

As I mentioned earlier... I will post future blogs that delve more deeply into each of these myths and stereotypes. But before I do, I want to hear from you. What other myths are associated with being gay? What other stereotypes are associated with LGBT community? Send me your thoughts! PINK OUT LOUD!